Yesterday my husband and I watched a fatality car crash happen maybe 4 or 5 cars in front of us. Traffic going 75+ mph and all it took was the driver swerving a little too hard, over correcting, and then lost control. The image of what appeared to be an 18 passenger van flying off the pavement and being propelled out of the ditch by the front right bumper catching the ground will be ingrained in my memory for a very long time. And my thought process that took point 2 seconds to realize what was going on, started with “wow they are exiting really fast…that’s not an exit…they are going to flip.” It rolled and rolled and stuff flew out, cars screeched to a stop as people around raced to help. Nathan threw the car in park and took off with a brief word to call 911. I still feel the horror and the tears I was fighting as I realized that a person had been flung out along with baggage from the car. At first the only words coming out of my mouth after my call to 911 was “Oh God”. I literally couldn’t piece together more then that. I watched as several people stayed with the guy on the ground and the others spread out around the van. Emergency vehicles started arriving less than 5 minutes later, but it felt like an eternity. By that point I still couldn’t put together cohesive words in English (I was very proud of myself for managing to speak coherently with the operator), but the words of heaven started flowing through my mouth. I don’t think I will ever know what I spent the next who knows how long praying., but I do believe that heaven knew and reacted. I lost track of time as it felt like time stood still. I found out later on that traffic was completely stopped for about a half hour for three helicopters to airlift those who were injured the worst. I kept hoping and praying that a fourth helicopter would arrive, but none did. Nathan came back after the person he was with had been airlifted and told me there had been six people in the vehicle. He and I know for sure we saw three airlifted and two walking around. We found out later on that the driver passed away. All in all we probably were there for at least an hour, and I have never been so glad to see how fast emergency responders are able to get to a scene.
The rest of the trip home I was still trying to remember how to breathe and not flinch at every little swerve or noise around us. That is probably something that will stick around for a little bit. But in that one blink of an eye lives were forever changed. I always knew that life was fragile. As a child I had lost people who were near to my heart, but as a child I think in a way it doesn’t always sink in as deeply. Last night drove home the point that absolutely no one is promised tomorrow. I have hopes and dreams and promises from God have been spoken over my life and I can not wait for those to happen! But in a blink of an eye, because I live in a fallen world I could be the one in that vehicle tumbling and tumbling through an old field. And as I started processing through all of those emotions my heart began to break for all the people and families who are working through situations right now and are not whole. I saw even more clearly the hand of protection that God has always had over my life, and I am so so thankful for it. But my heart continues to ache for the families who are struggling.
So I plead with you today…go to your families and fix what is not right. If you are estranged from your parents or siblings or grandparents; put those differences aside and realize that to forgive someone and to move on does not mean that person did not hurt you…it means that you are not holding unforgiveness in your heart. If you have to apologize for something for the 100th time even though you don’t feel like you have to because that person really wronged you; do it! Go before God and make sure your heart is whole and not harboring unforgiveness towards any person. There is a parable that Jesus told about a king who forgave a man’s debt, but that man then went and threw someone who owed him much less in prison until that debt could be paid. When the king found out about that situation he was very upset and had that man thrown in jail until the debt was paid. Jesus then went on to say that is God will treat us if we refuse to forgive those around us. (matthew 18:21-35) What that drives home to me is that Jesus meant what he said about forgiveness. Believe me…true forgiveness is not easy or fun. Sometimes it is moment by moment forgiving the person that wronged you. But I would rather forgive someone of something they did to me regardless of how they see or feel about the situation than have God refuse to forgive me. My own family is torn right now because of this very issue. I have done everything that I can do and am walking out forgiveness and good relationships with both sides of my family right now. But a line was drawn in the sand by one side and now there are hard hearts and unforgiveness. It’s so hard to watch. I would share more of the situation, but at this point I do not feel like a public place is a good way to share it. But if you are struggling with unforgiveness please find someone you can dialogue with to help you. Your life is not worth being right. Your life is not worth not forgiving someone. Your life is not worth the amount of unhealthy stress you are putting on yourself and those around you. Learn how to forgive and move on. It’s okay to move on without everyone agreeing with how you see things. Make sure your heart is right before God and make sure you are communication and releasing the truth of God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness over those around you. Jesus did not require you agree with Him on everything before He died and forgave your sin. He gave His life freely and He forgives you freely. In that way forgive and move on. Pretty sure Jesus didn’t spend the rest of His time on earth telling the disciples…hey I know I died to forgive you but I really don’t like that you didn’t support me in front of the Sanhedrin. So you know what…I’m not going to forgive you. You are going to have to apologize and make restitution and actually repent the way I want you to before I will forgive you and let you walk with me. No He didn’t do that and I see absolutely nothing in scripture that says that He wants us to treat others like that either. Forgive forgive forgive as the Lord forgave you. Forgive WHATEVER grievances you may have against one another. Live in harmony. And remember that YOU are worth WAY more than remembering and holding past grievances against those around you. Forgive and forget my parents always told me growing up. I really did not grow up seeing it lived out, but I took it to heart. I prayed and I struggled and I eventually learned a small piece of how to forgive that way. I know I still have a long way to go in learning, but I am learning and I really encourage you to learn as well.
Thoughts From a Princess Warrior 