Thoughts From a Mother’s Heart

So at first the other day I thought I might have a slight problem. I had just spent some time trying to convince someone that I was not actually a mother, much less a new mother. I was completely not understanding where in the world she would have gotten this impression, and then I started thinking about the last few months. I rarely make it into town for occasions other then work. However, in the recent months when I am in town I either have a baby in my arms or am covered in what I term…baby love. This love consists of the usual. All you mom’s are nodding and smiling as you remember the days of walking around covered in drool, spit-up, formula or milk, baby food, and oh please tell me that was not the diaper that just exploded! 😀 That being said, I also have spent the last few months walking around with that crazy smile that says I’m totally in love with this little miracle that I am carrying. If you doubt me then just take a quick browse through my recent photo posts and probably 90% of them are of me looking like a proud new mom. (My poor friends…they usually walk up behind me right as someone is asking me how old my kid is lol!!!!) So after some slight consideration I realized that I have absolutely no problems and instead lots of love and precious blessings in my life. 🙂

If you’ve been around me long you have probably gathered that I tend to have a slight (errr…very) mothering spirit about me. In fact, I made a comment a couple of years ago that I was just so excited for my kids and I so enjoy watching them grow up. Now, if you’ve been around me long you also know that I am neither married nor have kids of my own. So who are these kids? Honestly they are various people that God has brought into my life. They have ranged from older then me by many years to the precious infants I love so much. I don’t care what you’ve done or not done, but if for some reason the motherly instincts get tripped in me then the world better watch out because I will defend you till the day I die and I will try to protect you and love you as best I can. That being said…you may not ever realize that’s what’s going on. But I can promise you that I am praying that you get how much Papa God loves you, I am cheering you on as you live life, I am laughing and crying with you, and I will run to the ends of the earth to help you no matter what the consequences might be to me. What I have is yours, and that much you probably do know. Right now God’s been kind of pulling me back and showing me some things so I really don’t know that I am working in this aspect much at the moment. There are a handful of people that I know that do trip this instinct, but that is a thought for another day.

When I say that you may not ever realize I view you as one of my kids what do I mean? Well that is a good question. A couple of years ago I was somewhat involved with the local Teen Challenge center. By that I mean I was dating one of their staff members, and my brother was playing on a worship team that played there once a month. While dating the staff member I attended their open campus chapel services and in time I began viewing each of those young men as my child. You might find this extremely odd, and your probably right. How in the world do you view 30 + guys ranging in age from 18 to 70 as your own child when you are only early 20’s? It’s a God thing I promise. I honestly prayed every day for each one, I cried with them and laughed with them, I watched them grow in the Lord, and cheered and cried as each one grew up and graduated from the program. And to this day when I catch news of their successes and learning processes I smile, laugh, and cry with them even though they have no idea that I do so. Those precious men are my boys. 🙂 The world knows them by their records, but I know them by their smile and love of the Lord. My boys are now spread out around the US, but I still pray for them wherever they are.

So why do I look like a proud new mom when I don’t feel like I’m truly mothering anyone right now? Good question! I would say it is because I am in the process of learning how to love and care for each person that God brings into my life. There is a handful of people that I will stop in my tracks to help (recently proven), and while I pray for, laugh with, cry with, love on, and cheer them on just like my boys…the connection is different. It is much much stronger. So…thoughts from a mother’s heart…what happens when God starts radically changing the way you love those around you…and when He starts radically changing your perception of those closest to you? Hmmmmm…

(For the record…my brothers are not to be mixed up with my boys…but don’t you mess with my brothers either.) 😀

Goodness Look At The Time

Yikes!!! I sure let time run away from me! I feel as though i barely blinked and now look how long it has been since I last wrote. A lot has changed in my world recently. There’s been quite a bit of shifting not only in a spiritual sense but also in relationships and people groups I do life with. I find out more and more each day how strategic God has been with the skills he has placed in me and the people he has placed me with. Perhaps i will share more later, but for now i shall leave it as…life has a crazy way of throwing you for a loop. Are you built on the solid rock where you can stand the waves? Or are you built on the sand where one wave will crumble your foundation?